Department of Lands tells developer "Go Fish!"

In a case of “Deus ex Machina”
The DOL axed Holland’s marina,
As fish too small to fry,
Raised a public outcry,
When the “Big Fish” trashed their arena!

Story here: State rejects developer's marina plans

Blue Mountain Mystery

In those Washington mountains of Blue
There’s sign of a Bigfoot or two,
They leave tracks of a size,
That makes folks realize,
The rest must be pretty big too!

Story here: Data on Sasquatch Piling Up

Police Retrospective

Here's a quick retrospective of the last 10 months of many, but not all, Spokane Police news highlights.

Otto Fatality
In memory of poor Otto Zehm,
The official prognosis is grim,
If a plastic bottle’s enough,
To make cops get rough,
We all could end up like him!

Story here: Fatal Confrontation between Spokane Police and Otto Zehm


Barista Flasher
There’s a Spokane detective Mastel,
With a theory on wooing a belle,
You start acting silly,
Then whip out your willy,
But in practice it ain’t working well!

Story here: A public servant with backbone? Imagine that!



WSP Trick or Treat
In DUI’s there’s quite a chink,
For girls who both drive and drink,
‘Cause a young woman child,
Who’ll act Girls Gone Wild,
Can get herself off with a wink!

Story here: Charges against trooper detailed
and here: Trooper to lose vacation days





Firehouse Fiasco
Two detectives deleted the pics,
That showed a fireman gettin’ his kicks,
Now the girl claims she’s screwed,
And their all getting’ sued,
For the tricks with the pics by the Dicks!

Story here: No charges to be filed in firehouse sex case



Cowboy Cops
In Spokane the young calf came to grief,
Who crossed the fence for grazing relief,
Two cops used their taser,
And French Fried the grazer,
Now the calf’s just barbecued beef!

Story here: Judge reverses herself in calf tasering

Shopping Cart Sociopaths

There’s a secret rogue shopping cartel,
With shopping cart etiquette fell,
They leave carts everywhere,
With carte blanche savoir faire,
And a wake of door dings in their trail!

Racism: When victims become victimizers

Not What Martin Luther King Jr. Meant


‘Neath the guise of PC contentment,
Lies mainstream indignant resentment,
As minorities flaunt
Their new freedom to taunt
-Grapes of wrath grow taut with fermentment.


Story here: Kathleen Parker:The black and white of racist culture

Spokane Police: What are you thinking?

Writers Note: In writing limericks about social misbehavior it seems that a disproportionate amount of my effort is spent on the "Spokane" Police (i.e. SPD, Sheriff's Dept., & WSP). This is not due to a personal bias, but an unfortunate result of area law enforcement dominating recent news with suspicious - sometimes deadly - behavior. In fairness, I have supported both Ozzie Knezovich and Ann Kirkpatrick for their respective stances on police misconduct, as pieces from earlier this year(Anne, Ozzie) illustrate, and hope to continue doing so. Based on the information presently available about the latest police fatality however, this certainly looks like a "What are you thinking?" moment for both of them.
While I'm in favor of law enforcement, and would much rather ridicule dumb criminal behavior than dumb cop behavior, as one local blogger said, "Man...cops up here scare the crap out of me..."(Spokane County Police Tactics Claims 2nd Victim). It's my belief that the best support the public can give good police is to call "BS" on unacceptable behavior - and coverup attempts - until the internal culture that has allowed this type of conduct to thrive is eradicated, and the standing of area law enforcement is restored to one of "respect" versus "fear". In the meantime....

Hogtidings

In a bizarre little hogtirade,
Spokane’s finest are acting dismayed,
Seems “hogtie’s” not PC,
For harsh hogtyranny,
Hence the knotty wordplay charade!

Story here: Drop the use of 'hogtie', police ask